freefromsin: (>:/)
Caleb Peterson ([personal profile] freefromsin) wrote2015-08-21 07:38 pm

Profile (History and Family)

TW suicidal thoughts, child abuse, homophobia:

Caleb comes from a large family, due mostly in part to the fact that his parents, who are devout Baptists, believe in and follow the Quiverfull movement. They see every child as a blessing and reject all forms of birth control. Quiverfull followers also use a patriarchal family hierarchy system wherein the father is head of the family and works to provide financially, which the mother stays home to take care of the house and children. The mother also plays the role of teacher, as the children are homeschooled so they can receive the education the parents see fit.

In Caleb's family specifically, he is the second oldest of five children. The eldest is his sister, Olive, and his younger siblings are Daniel, Nathan, and Anna. Nathan was born with cerebral palsy. He was born when Caleb was fourteen years old, and needed so much hands-on attention and care, especially when Anna was born just a year later, that Caleb was not watched over as closely as he may have otherwise been during his teenage years. His mother took sole responsibility for Nathan, blaming herself for his disability, leaving the rest of the children to be raised mainly by Olive. Though, under Quiverfull, it is expected for the eldest female child to take over matriarchal responsibilities, Olive was burdened with an extraordinary amount.

Because of their self-imposed insular family life, Caleb's only real time allowed outside of the house was at church, or trips to the store with his mother or older sister. Caleb was in choir and part of the church youth group which did local missionary work. Though Caleb's family was Quiverfull, not every family at their church was, and so when Caleb was at church in these groups he had exposure to some kids who had more real world experience, and even some who were questioning their faith. Instead of being scared by them or condemning them, he listened. For him, it was morbidly fascinating that they would even think to question God's word.

As he got older, he began to realize that he found boys attractive, and was having sinful thoughts about them. He thought one of his friends in particular, Gabriel Fletcher, was painfully attractive. Though he tried to tamper down on his feelings, at war with himself about whether they were wrong or not and knowing Gabe would balk at his sin, during an out of town choir competition trip Caleb gave in to the urge and kissed his friend. Kissing lead to more intimate things. Afterward, Caleb didn't regret it. He still felt conflicted and a little scared by what they'd done, but he also knew he never wanted to go back to not having that.

The next day, Caleb woke up in their shared hotel room alone. Gabe had gone missing. Gabe's parents flipped out and got the police involved. As Caleb had been sharing a hotel room with Gabe and was the last person to see him, he was questioned. Gabe's parents also blamed him. Though Caleb denied anything had happened, and that he had nothing to do with Gabe's disappearance and had no idea where he'd gone, Caleb's father didn't believe him. His father was infuriated to have been dragged into a police investigation, and drama with members of their church, and demanded the truth from Caleb relentlessly when they got home. Caleb was terrified about what happened to Gabe, angry to be questioned and blamed, and both furious and guilty about the way he felt and that it was considered evil. Overwhelmed, he snapped, and screamed the truth to his father.

When Caleb's father heard that he'd been intimate with a boy, he lost it. He beat Caleb like he had when Caleb had been a child, and locked him in the bathroom. Caleb lost it and tried to physically break the door down, until his father threatened to take it out on his siblings if he tried to escape. Caleb was to stay in the bathroom without food until he renounced what he had done, and swore to live the life they had raised him to, following God's word. From then on all privileges were revoked and he was no longer allowed to leave the house except to go to work.

Caleb had a breakdown, and in his hopeless desperation he even considered using his father's razor on himself. Still, he refused to give in to his father's demands. On the second night of being isolated, his oldest sister came in the middle of the night and brought him food. He rejected it, too tangled up inside to eat. She asked what she could do to help, and he asked her to help get him out of the house.

On the third night, his sister unlocked the bathroom door and helped him escape. She'd packed a bag for him and sneaked him out the back door. He begged her to come with him, but she said she couldn't, she had to stay and take care of their younger siblings.

At first, Caleb had no idea where to go. One of his friends from church with less strict parents lived down the block from him, and through him he was able to couch surf with one of that friends' older brother's friends'. He continued to couch surf as long as possible. During this time he started learning a bit about the real world, and how people lived differently from his family. He learned about music and tv and books and self-expression. He went out with all these college age guys and was influenced by the scene. Because he was determined to re-make himself from the inside out, he dyed his hair, pierced his nose and ears, and upgraded his dour clothing thanks to Goodwill. He became obsessed with books, reading whatever his housemates had lying around. He also fooled around with a few boys from the scene when he discovered there were other boys like him who weren't scared to be together.

Unfortunately, he eventually ran out of cash and was unable to find a permanent job. A friend told him about his brother who ran a construction company in Portland, and said he was always hiring guys for the grunt work. On his friend's recommendation, Caleb began to hitchhike his way to Portland. One night, near enough there, he came across an old, discarded copy of a paper called The Cove. In it, there was a photo and blurb of his friend, Gabe. Caleb knew he had to find him and find out what happened, so he bypassed Portland and made his way to Siren Cove, Maine.

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