Caleb Peterson (
freefromsin) wrote2015-09-03 10:16 pm
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(Closed to Gabe - Sirens Gone Wild plot~)
Caleb wakes up with the overwhelming feeling that he needs to see Gabe.
It's one step away from thinking Gabe is in trouble, that urgent. There's no explanation, but the panic, the desperation, the longing are a physical ache in his chest that's impossible to ignore. He scrambles from bed, pulling on shoes while stumbling for the bathroom to take a quick piss. He manages a five second teeth brushing, but doesn't bother with his hair. He went to bed in cotton shorts and a tank top and he figures he's dressed well enough, he doesn't have time to change, he has to go.
He slips quickly and silently out of the house. It's pouring but that doesn't stop him from sprinting down the driveway to the sidewalk. It's a brisk five or ten minute jog to Mira's house, and surely the most exercise he's had in awhile, but he hardly notices. He's panting and drenched by the time he reaches their block. Shivering, he rubs a frantic hand over the back of his neck; it's early and he doesn't want to piss Mira's family off by knocking at the door and potentially waking anyone up, but he needs Gabe. Gabe needs him, he just knows it.
After some manic pacing in front of Mira's house, he finally walks to the porch and gives a determined knock. Or two.
...Three when no one answers right away.
It's one step away from thinking Gabe is in trouble, that urgent. There's no explanation, but the panic, the desperation, the longing are a physical ache in his chest that's impossible to ignore. He scrambles from bed, pulling on shoes while stumbling for the bathroom to take a quick piss. He manages a five second teeth brushing, but doesn't bother with his hair. He went to bed in cotton shorts and a tank top and he figures he's dressed well enough, he doesn't have time to change, he has to go.
He slips quickly and silently out of the house. It's pouring but that doesn't stop him from sprinting down the driveway to the sidewalk. It's a brisk five or ten minute jog to Mira's house, and surely the most exercise he's had in awhile, but he hardly notices. He's panting and drenched by the time he reaches their block. Shivering, he rubs a frantic hand over the back of his neck; it's early and he doesn't want to piss Mira's family off by knocking at the door and potentially waking anyone up, but he needs Gabe. Gabe needs him, he just knows it.
After some manic pacing in front of Mira's house, he finally walks to the porch and gives a determined knock. Or two.
...Three when no one answers right away.
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"Because I don't know how to...be like this," he says quietly. With his eyes still closed, it feels like confessing with a screen to block the priest. Only it's Caleb and he knows all of this maybe better than Gabe does himself.
"To be..." Gabe still can't let himself say the word. To say that he's homosexual. Gay. Not attracted to women. It's even harder letting himself believe that he's not damned for eternity.
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"It's just like being attracted to anyone else. Gabe, it's normal," he says softy, without judgement or preaching. Just like they were having a conversation about anything else. "Your orientation isn't a choice, and it isn't a sin. I know it's hard for you to believe, but it's like...your eye color, it's how you were born and there's nothing wrong with it. Or you."
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"I'm still having a hard time...letting myself be anything."
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"I just want you to be happy."
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If Caleb knows, maybe he can show him.
"I like that. With my hair."
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Sometimes, he worries that Caleb will realize he doesn't deserve him as a friend, much less anything else.
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"Thank you for finding me."
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His smile does turn demure, though, looking away from Gabe for a moment because that's just such an impossibly sweet thing to say.
"Any time."
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"I just don't want to do something that hurts you accidentally."
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"Just don't leave, okay? I'd like to never have to hitchhike again if I can help it."
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Shyly, Gabe moves a few inches closer, close enough for a kiss he's not brave enough to ask for.
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"Can I kiss you?" he whispers.
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And yet.
He can't deny that there's a part of him that's scared. Yes, Gabe is giving him permission, but he'd given him permission that night, too. Time has passed for Gabe to try and come to terms with all of it, but has it been enough? He'd promised himself he would wait, that he wouldn't do anything until Gabe was ready, even if it was twenty years from now...
But maybe he is ready. At least, for a kiss.
So Caleb lets his eyes slip closed, and he leans in, touching their lips together feather-light, the sweetest, most delicate kiss.
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Caleb might laugh at him and Gabe wouldn't even think him wrong for it.
But Caleb's not laughing, or making any noise at all. He's pressed so lightly against Gabe that it's almost impossible to believe it's happening. This is it, he realizes. This is a kiss. The gesture isn't scary or shameful. It's just a kiss. Gabe feels warm all over, safe instead of scared.
Uncertain, he inclines his head a little so that the connection is more real, more firm.
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Laughing softly, relieved at how easy and safe it feels. "I'm not sneaking you out Mira's window."
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"Would it be so scandalous that I stayed over?" he asks with a small grin. "Nothing happened."
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