freefromsin | (Closed to Gabe - Sirens Gone Wild plot~)

Caleb wakes up with the overwhelming feeling that he needs to see Gabe.

It's one step away from thinking Gabe is in trouble, that urgent. There's no explanation, but the panic, the desperation, the longing are a physical ache in his chest that's impossible to ignore. He scrambles from bed, pulling on shoes while stumbling for the bathroom to take a quick piss. He manages a five second teeth brushing, but doesn't bother with his hair. He went to bed in cotton shorts and a tank top and he figures he's dressed well enough, he doesn't have time to change, he has to go.

He slips quickly and silently out of the house. It's pouring but that doesn't stop him from sprinting down the driveway to the sidewalk. It's a brisk five or ten minute jog to Mira's house, and surely the most exercise he's had in awhile, but he hardly notices. He's panting and drenched by the time he reaches their block. Shivering, he rubs a frantic hand over the back of his neck; it's early and he doesn't want to piss Mira's family off by knocking at the door and potentially waking anyone up, but he needs Gabe. Gabe needs him, he just knows it.

After some manic pacing in front of Mira's house, he finally walks to the porch and gives a determined knock. Or two.

...Three when no one answers right away.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

overdrawing

Gabe nods against his neck. Even for his sleepy, foggy brain, Caleb's scent pokes at important and powerful memories but the edge of them is blunted by how comfortable and warm it is. "You were supposed to sleep in the bed," he reminds him, clearly on the reluctant path to waking even though Gabe keeps his eyes closed.

"Are you warm?" Gabe feels warm and surprisingly safe.

From:

freefromsin

Caleb tries to ignore the way Gabe's nose and hair tickle his throat when he nods. "Sorry, it just looked so much more comfortable down here." It is the truth. Just not all of the truth.

"I am," he murmurs against Gabe's hair, tracing idle patterns in the cotton of Gabe's shirt with the tips of his fingers. "You're like a little siren furnace. It's nice."

From:

overdrawing

Despite his best attempts to stay asleep, Gabe finds himself floating closer to being awake. If this weren't so comfortable, he might be grumpier about it. "Otters hold hands when they sleep to keep from floating apart," he says, sighing a little. It sounds like such a nice, simple gesture.

"This should feel wrong."

From:

freefromsin

Caleb smiles warmly and moves his hand from Gabe's back to hold the hand Gabe has around his waist. He links their fingers together and brings their joined hands between their bodies.

"Why, because I'm not an otter?" he asks softly, teasingly, wanting to stay in this moment as long as possible before Gabe inevitably moves away.

From:

overdrawing

"You know why." Gabe squeezes their hands together and opens his eyes, the motion sleepy and reluctant, even if he recognizes the seriousness of what they're discussing. Because they were, not so long ago, Good Faithful Boys. And, not so long ago, this is exactly the thing that sent Gabe running away in terror.

From:

freefromsin

"I know," Caleb says, voiced hushed in some attempt as to not break the spell. "This is completely innocent, though. Friends hold hands. I'd do the same with my brother."

It wasn't a lie so much as stretching the truth. He would lay on a floor with his brother as they read or did homework, he'd even hold his hand, like when they crossed the street. He wouldn't, however, be thinking about how pretty his brother's eyelashes were, or how much he wanted to kiss him. He can leave those things out, though.

From:

overdrawing

"I really hope you don't cuddle your brother like this," Gabe says, letting himself press closer, inviting Caleb to wrap his arms around him again. Gabe feels warm and safe against Caleb, his friend, his something more, maybe. He doesn't know if he's ready to put it in words, even if his feelings are clearly happy to run away with him.

From:

freefromsin

Caleb lets go of Gabe's hand to wrap him back up in his arms, since he isn't moving away. His heart speeds up at the thought, that he wants to stay here, like this. That he wants to be held. Caleb cups the back of Gabe's head, fingers sinking into his hair, and teases, "Why, jealous?"

From:

overdrawing

Gabe sighs, mostly at the regrettable fact that he's wide awake. He lets his eyes close again though, enjoying the way Caleb's fingers card through his hair.

"Because I don't know how to...be like this," he says quietly. With his eyes still closed, it feels like confessing with a screen to block the priest. Only it's Caleb and he knows all of this maybe better than Gabe does himself.

"To be..." Gabe still can't let himself say the word. To say that he's homosexual. Gay. Not attracted to women. It's even harder letting himself believe that he's not damned for eternity.

From:

freefromsin

"Gay?" Caleb supplies, all hints of teasing gone. His expression fades into something more serious, and he moves his hand from Gabe's hair to his cheek, a gentle touch.

"It's just like being attracted to anyone else. Gabe, it's normal," he says softy, without judgement or preaching. Just like they were having a conversation about anything else. "Your orientation isn't a choice, and it isn't a sin. I know it's hard for you to believe, but it's like...your eye color, it's how you were born and there's nothing wrong with it. Or you."

From:

overdrawing

Gabe takes a second. How can one word, one syllable carry so much weight? It takes a long moment before he can finally nod, still unready to acknowledge the word with a spoken response. He just nods once under Caleb's hand, enjoying the warm touch.

"I'm still having a hard time...letting myself be anything."

From:

freefromsin

"That's okay," Caleb says in that same soft voice, stroking lightly along Gabe's cheekbone. "Take as long as you need to figure everything out. Just...please don't hate yourself, okay?" It was the one thing he couldn't handle, seeing Gabe be so self-loathing. It hurt his heart.

From:

overdrawing

"I'm trying not to, anymore. I'm trying." He sighs and turns his head a little so that he can enjoy the gentle touch. So that he can let himself.

From:

freefromsin

"Okay," Caleb whispers, and continues to stroke Gabe's cheek with his thumb when he sees that he seems to like it. His hand moves from cheek, to jaw, to neck, and returns to his hair to pet.

"I just want you to be happy."

From:

overdrawing

Gabe smiles a tiny bit at that, though the expression is still tinged with a little sadness because he doesn't think he knows how to be happy. Not without conditions.

If Caleb knows, maybe he can show him.

"I like that. With my hair."

From:

freefromsin

"Step one to making Gabe happy, pet his hair," Caleb says quietly, a smile in his voice. He continues to play with Gabe's hair, combing it with his fingers. Eventually he moves into massaging Gabe's head, rubbing his skull in small, gentle circles. "Like this, too?"

From:

overdrawing

"Simple pleasures," he supposes and that draws a proper smile out of him. "Hair pets? Good friends?"

Sometimes, he worries that Caleb will realize he doesn't deserve him as a friend, much less anything else.

From:

freefromsin

"Best friend," Caleb reminds him, grinning across the pillow at Gabe, eyes half-closed. "You said so yourself."

From:

overdrawing

He smiles shyly, hopefully, and reaches up to lay his hand on top of Caleb's, their fingers tangling just a little.

"Thank you for finding me."

From:

freefromsin

Caleb can feel his heart thudding in his chest, and he wants desperately to kiss Gabe. He doesn't, though, because there's no way he's going to risk scaring Gabe off. Not when Gabe is being so openly affectionate, and seems so comfortable. It's a lot even to be holding hands.

His smile does turn demure, though, looking away from Gabe for a moment because that's just such an impossibly sweet thing to say.

"Any time."

From:

overdrawing

He feels found in more than one way. Not just retrieved but a little more safe as himself. Caleb so close makes him easy to want and the temptation to kiss him is so palpable, but he still fears what he might do.

"I just don't want to do something that hurts you accidentally."

From:

freefromsin

Caleb traces the arc of Gabe's nose, and then taps the end with his finger, his smile going playful.

"Just don't leave, okay? I'd like to never have to hitchhike again if I can help it."

From:

overdrawing

"If I leave, I'll tell you." Not that he plans to leave. Gabe thinks that if he ever moved somewhere, Siren Cove would inspire the homesickness that his family home doesn't. He'd miss Mira and Finn, even the work at the pub that leaves his hands raw and rough.

Shyly, Gabe moves a few inches closer, close enough for a kiss he's not brave enough to ask for.

From:

freefromsin

"Okay." Caleb's voice goes hushed as Gabe gets closer. He's so close it's hard to focus on his face, and Caleb's heart speeds up again. Still, his eyes search Gabe's for intent.

"Can I kiss you?" he whispers.