pre-play fun

[freefromsin]

It was the last day of their trip. The competition was over. They'd won, probably mostly thanks to Caleb's exceptionally talented roommate. Speaking of, Gabe was in the bathroom getting ready for bed. Caleb flopped down on the bed, already in his pajamas, but far from tired. Without much else to think about, stuck in a hotel room with nothing to do, his mind wandered to his friend. Gabe was just...so cute, and Caleb didn't know what to do with that information. He knew he should be scared, because what his father would tell him, what the church would tell him, was that it was Satan making him think these things. God would never let Caleb be attracted to another boy, so it must be Satan, or a demon. Only, it didn't feel very sinister. Gabe wasn't evil. He was just a cute boy, anyone could see that, no matter what gender.

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[overdrawing]

"Caleb," he echoed. The sweetness was the best part. Being held, felt like he was something and someone unique and treasured. It was a sensation he'd never known, the feeling of having someone's focus solely on him. He wanted it more, greedy to have someone's eyes looking at him.

"We...we need to get out..."

[freefromsin]

Caleb shivered a little, hearing his name like that.

"Yeah," he agreed, reluctantly moving back, his smile growing from warm to bright. He held up a hand, palm out. "My fingers are all pruney."

He reached over and turned off the water, then tugged Gabe out of the shower after him loosely by the wrist, as though Gabe needed to be lead. He grabbed a towel from the rack and carelessly draped it around his own shoulders, then took the other and turned to Gabe, draping it carefully over his, reaching up to scrub the majority of water from his hair with the ends of the towel. He grinned, feeling sated and happy. On cloud nine.

"There," he said with a laugh, when Gabe's hair was all over the place. "It looks cute like that."

[overdrawing]

Caleb was smiling and it was just for him. Gabe leaned forward and cupped his face, thanking him with an elated kiss. Every touch made his skin go warm as he wrapped the towel around his waist and let Caleb fuss with his hair.

"It's a mess, are you kidding?" he said, laughing. "Don't lie about that."

The bed was only a few steps away, easy to follow Caleb into and collapse into bed.

[freefromsin]

Caleb beamed, almost giddy with happiness. "I'm not lying! It's pretty adorable when it's a mess."

When they laid down in bed, Caleb brought the blanket around them and scooted close so their bodies still touched. He tangled their legs together and curled an arm around Gabe, face mere inches away.

"Want to know a secret?"

[overdrawing]

He was naked, in bed, with another boy and it was the happiest Gabe had ever felt. Ears open, he slid forward and nuzzled into Caleb's throat.

"I want to know your secret," he whispered, eyes closed.

[freefromsin]

Caleb held Gabe close, idly stroking his back, running fingers through his damp hair, tracing his spine. He wanted to soak it all in, knowing - though not allowing himself to dwell on the fact - that they might never have this sort of privacy again. At least not for a long time.

"I've thought you were cute for a long time," he whispered back, kissing Gabe's hair. "You're the cutest boy at church, and when you sing, it gives me chills."

[overdrawing]

"It's a blessing," he said. His mother had always called his singing a gift from God but to have Caleb feel the same way finally makes him believe it. Body still humming with pleasure, he let himself be kissed and held. Adored.

"You've wanted me? Before tonight?"

[freefromsin]

Caleb blushed, which was kind of crazy, considering what they'd just done. "Yeah," he admitted, voice hushed. "I guess I did a good job hiding it, huh?" His fingers tightened in Gabe's hair a moment, possessive, then relaxed, stroking absently down the back of Gabe's neck.

"It's our secret, right?"

[overdrawing]

"Our secret," he agreed. Eyes closed, his face buried in Caleb's neck, it was easy to hide the terrible, sinking realization that hit him. It was their secret because what they'd done was obscene and sinful. There weren't enough different ways to count how wrong this all was. How he hated himself for wanting more.

"It has to stay secret."

[freefromsin]

Caleb petted Gabe's hair soothingly, tucking his nose into the damp strands for a moment. "Of course. No one would understand. But, I don't care. This is like...the most right I've ever felt about anything before," he murmured.

He knew he should feel guilty, but he just...didn't. Not now. He felt happy, content. Defiant. He felt like this was something that had been looming, something waiting to happen. He felt like this was who he was.

He also felt drowsy, and smiled to himself. "Sleep, okay? We don't want to miss the bus tomorrow."

[overdrawing]

"Yeah," Gabe said, voice low and all of him suddenly aching. He scooted a little bit away from Caleb, giving him space to fall asleep while trying to calm his own mind.

There was no confessing this sin, no asking to be forgiven for giving into temptation. What he'd done was beyond that.

"Sleep."

Because he was weak, he leaned forward and gave him a kiss.

[freefromsin]

Mostly asleep already, warm and content, Caleb pursed his lips to accept the kiss, and smiling, dozed off.

[overdrawing]

Gabe didn't fall asleep. He lay still, watching Caleb's face as he did, hating himself by how earnestly he wanted to wake up to that relaxed, blissful expression. Instead, he waited and then he slipped out of bed.

With no thought to consequence, he dressed himself mechanically and made his way downstairs, following the simplest imperative. Find a bus. Get away. Never come back.